So she broke your heart, huh? That sucks, man. There’s nothing quite like the pain of heartbreak to make you question everything and wish for a way to make her feel just an ounce of the hurt she caused you. While revenge and retaliation are never the answer, sending a few guilt-inducing texts can be a harmless way to find closure and help you start to heal. The goal isn’t to make her come crawling back, it’s to give you back some of the power and confidence she stole. Read on for 3 texts that will have her regretting the day she let you go.
Why You Should Avoid Sending Guilt-Tripping Texts
We’ve all been there—hurting after a breakup and wanting the other person to feel just as bad. But sending manipulative texts to make your ex feel guilty is never the answer.
- It’s immature and selfish. Trying to make someone else feel bad just to ease your own pain is unfair and will likely backfire.
- It shows you’re not over the relationship. Guilt-tripping your ex reveals you’re still dwelling on the past and not moving on with your life.
- It won’t undo the breakup or win them back. Harassing and manipulating your ex with mean-spirited texts will only damage their opinion of you further and push them away.
- You’ll regret it later. Once you’ve healed and found perspective, you’ll realize those texts only made you seem petty, spiteful, and like the bad guy in the situation.
- There are better ways to find closure. Talk to friends, write in a journal, see a counselor—do things that will actually help you work through your feelings in a healthy way.
- Revenge isn’t the answer. Ultimately, the healthiest thing you can do is accept the end of the relationship and channel your energy into self-care and personal growth. With time and effort, the painful intensity of these feelings will fade.
Rather than lashing out in anger and bitterness, take the high road. Forgive your ex, learn from your mistakes, and move forward to find happiness again. Sending hurtful messages will only make you both feel worse in the end. The past is gone—now is the time to build a better future.
Texts to Make Her Feel Guilty for Breaking Your Heart
- Remind her of the good times
Remembering the good times will make both you and your partner realize just how much the relationship meant to you. In your text, you could mention a time you spent together that was particularly special to you or highlight an inside joke that only the two of you would understand.
- Express how much you’re hurting
When you express how much you’re hurting, it can be a good way to try to get your partner to understand the depth of your emotions. Instead of keeping your feelings bottled up, be open about how much pain their actions have caused you. You could say something like “I can’t stop thinking about how much it hurts that you’ve hurt me”. This will convey to her how deeply you’re being affected by her hurtful actions.
- Voice how much you need her
Letting your ex-partner your need for them can make them realize just how much you valued their presence in your life. Even if the relationship has ended, you can still communicate and express how valuable they are to you. You could say something like “the life I envisioned for us was so beautiful, and it feels impossible to go on without you”. This can help your ex partner understand that their actions have left a gaping hole in your life that you need them to fill.
- Appeal to her conscience
Another way you can make your ex-partner feel guilty is by appealing to their conscience. You could say something like “the way you’ve treated me is not fair, and I don’t understand how someone who once cared for me can treat me this badly”. This will make them think about their actions and the impact they’ve had on your life.
- Be specific about how she hurt you
Finally, it’s important to be specific about how she hurt you. This will make it clear to her that you’ve thought long and hard about what she’s done. You could say, “the way you betrayed me was one of the most hurtful things anybody has ever done to me.” It will help her to understand how her behavior has caused you to suffer, and hopefully, it will inspire her to do better and make things right.
Focus on Your Own Healing Rather Than Blaming Her
The healthiest thing you can do is focus on yourself right now instead of blaming your ex. Seeking revenge will only make you both feel worse and stall your healing.
Accept the end of the relationship
The relationship is over, and contacting your ex will likely only cause more pain. Accepting this difficult truth is the first step to moving on. Let yourself fully grieve the end of the relationship. Cry if you need to, look through old photos, listen to songs that remind you of them. Don’t bottle up your feelings. Let them out, then take a deep breath and begin to redirect your thoughts to self-care.
Take care of yourself
Make sure to stay active by exercising, spending time with supportive friends and family, and pursuing hobbies or activities that you enjoy. Getting good sleep, eating healthy meals, limiting alcohol and avoiding drugs or cigarettes will help you feel better emotionally and physically. Try doing small acts of kindness for others to boost your own mood and self-esteem.
Reflect and grow
This painful experience, though difficult, presents an opportunity to become more self-aware and grow as a person. Reflect on the relationship and lessons learned. What went well? What could have been better? How have you changed? Use these insights to build a vision for the kind of partner you want to be in your next relationship.
While it may not seem like it now, the hurt will lessen over time. Stay strong and patient with yourself. Focus on self-care, learn from your mistakes, and work to become an even better person. Happier days are ahead!
Have an Honest Conversation About What Went Wrong
Having an honest conversation with your ex about what went wrong in the relationship can be difficult, but it may provide closure and help you both gain perspective. This can be done through a phone call, video chat or in person. However you decide to connect, make sure you’ve given yourself space to process the breakup and are in the right headspace for this conversation.
- Explain how their actions made you feel without accusation. Use “I” statements, like “I felt hurt when you stopped responding to my messages.” Discuss the underlying issues in the relationship and specific events that caused damage. Give examples of times you felt disrespected or unhappy.
- Listen to their perspective with an open mind. Let them share their experiences, opinions and regrets. Look for opportunities to find common ground and understand their point of view. Say something like, “I can see why you felt that way. I wish we had communicated better.”
- Discuss what you both want and don’t want in your next relationship. Talk about the good parts of your relationship and what you’ll miss. Share what you learned and how you grew personally. This can help give the breakup meaning and value.
- Don’t rehash things that can’t be changed. While honesty is important, avoid accusations and criticism that won’t be constructive. The goal should be to gain closure, not reopen old wounds.
- Thank them for the good times you shared. End the conversation on a positive note by expressing well wishes for their future. Say something like, “Despite how things turned out, I’m glad we were part of each other’s lives. I wish you the best.”
Having this difficult but necessary conversation can help you start to heal and move on from the pain of heartbreak. While it may be hard, speaking openly and honestly with compassion is the healthiest way to find closure after a breakup.
Keep Busy With Friends, Hobbies and Self-Care
Now that you’ve said what you needed to say, it’s time to focus on yourself. Keeping busy with friends, hobbies and self-care will help take your mind off the breakup and boost your confidence and happiness.
Connect with Friends
Call up some close friends or family members and make plans to get together. Let them know you’re going through a tough time and could use their support. Do an activity together like grabbing coffee or lunch, seeing a movie, going for a hike or just talking. Their company can help lift your spirits.
Engage in Hobbies
Do things you enjoy to keep your mind occupied. Read a book, cook a recipe you’ve always wanted to try, get outside in nature, pick up a craft project, join a local sports league or take up a new hobby. Having activities and events to look forward to will make the time pass more quickly.
Make sure to engage in regular self-care. Exercise, eat healthy and stay hydrated. Get plenty of sleep every night. Do some light exercise like walking, yoga or stretching. Listen to upbeat music. Take a hot bath. Small acts of self-care release endorphins that improve your mood and ease feelings of sadness.
This difficult time will pass, although it may not seem that way now. Surround yourself with your support network, keep busy and take good care of yourself. Before you know it, you’ll start to feel better and will be able to think about the breakup without such intense pain. The hurt will fade, and you will heal. Have hope – there are more relationships and life experiences ahead! Focus on yourself, and the rest will follow.
Seek Closure by Accepting the Breakup and Moving Forward
The healthiest thing you can do is accept the breakup and work on moving forward. While it may be tempting to dwell on the past and try to get revenge, that will only make you feel worse in the long run.
Forgive Her and Wish Her Well
As difficult as it is, try to forgive your ex for hurting you. Holding onto anger and resentment will poison you, not her. Send her a text telling her you forgive her and wish her the best. Make it genuine—do it for your own peace of mind, not for her benefit. Something simple like:
“I wanted you to know that I forgive you. What’s done is done. I wish you the best.”
Refocus on Yourself
Now is the time to be a little selfish and focus on your own healing and growth. Pursue hobbies and activities that you enjoy, spend time with supportive friends and family, pick up a new exercise routine. Send her one last text to say goodbye, then delete her contact information. Out of sight, out of mind.
“Goodbye. I’m going to focus on taking care of myself now. Please don’t contact me again.”
The Future is Bright
While breakups are hard, they often open us up to new opportunities and relationships that are an even better fit. Have faith that you will heal from this and find love again when the time is right. Your life isn’t over just because this relationship is. The future is filled with promise and possibility if you choose to move on from the past.
Though it may not seem like it now, you will get through this. Stay strong and keep your head up—happier days are ahead! Letting go of the past and embracing the future is the best revenge.
So there you have it, three texts to stir up feelings of regret and guilt in your ex for breaking your heart. While sending any message with the sole intent of making someone else feel bad is unethical, the desire for revenge or closure is a natural human emotion. The high road is always the healthiest path forward, but taking a detour into pettiness every now and then is understandable. If you do send one of these guilt-inducing texts, do so knowing that you’re only human and the best way to truly move on is by being the bigger person. Forgive if you can, forget if you can’t, and keep walking forward into a brighter future without them.
Sharon Adisa is a content writer with expertise in relationship and life philosophy. She is knowledgeable in various areas of human relationships, including family dynamics, romantic relationships, friendships, and workplace relationships.