So you’ve decided to embark on the wild ride that is a friends with benefits relationship. Congrats, you little rule breaker! Now that the fun part is out of the way, it’s time to lay down some ground rules. If you want to keep it casual without hurting any feelings or causing unnecessary drama, you gotta follow the texting rules.
Yes, texting. In this day and age, so much of our communication happens via text, especially when planning a hookup. One misinterpreted message can throw a wrench in the whole operation. The key is keeping things light, casual, and drama-free. No long heartfelt texts about your feelings or asking personal questions. And for the love of all that is good, do not double text if they don’t respond right away. Play it cool. The less you seem invested, the more they’ll chase you.
Follow these tried and true fwb texting rules and you’ll be on your way to keeping it casual, fun and avoiding disaster. Now get out there and happy sexting! But not too much. Remember the rules.
Defining the Rules: What Is a Friends With Benefits Relationship?
So you’ve decided to start a friends with benefits relationship. Congrats! FWB relationships can be fun and fulfilling, but only if you go in with realistic expectations and establish some ground rules up front.
Defining the Relationship
A friends with benefits relationship is a casual, ongoing physical connection with someone you consider a friend, but not a romantic partner. The key is keeping things light and uncomplicated. Make it clear from the start that you’re interested in physical intimacy only – no strings attached. Be honest about what you both want and don’t want. Setting clear boundaries and communicating openly are key.
Setting the Ground Rules
Agree on rules that will keep you both comfortable and the relationship carefree. Some suggestions:
-Focus on having fun. Don’t get too serious.
-Avoid public displays of affection or acting like a “couple”.
-Don’t get jealous if one of you starts dating someone else. The physical connection comes secondary to other relationships.
-Keep conversations casual. Don’t unload emotional baggage on each other or divulge secrets you’d only share with a romantic partner.
-Either party can end things at any time, no hard feelings. Make sure you’re both okay with walking away.
Following some common sense rules like these will help ensure your friends with benefits relationship stays positive, drama-free, and mutually fulfilling. Keep expectations in check, communicate openly, and enjoy this fun new adventure together!
Setting Boundaries and Expectations for FWB Texting
When you enter into a friends with benefits relationship, it’s important to set some ground rules around texting to avoid hurt feelings or confusion.
Be upfront about your availability and response times
Let your FWB know that you may not always respond right away, especially during working hours or when you’re busy. Say something like “Just so you know, I’m not always able to text back quickly. I’ll do my best but don’t want you to think I’m ignoring you if there’s a delay.” This helps set the expectation that constant contact isn’t required or expected.
Discuss what types of texts are appropriate
Are flirty or sexually explicit texts okay or would you rather keep things more casual? Come to an agreement on the level of intimacy and details you’re both comfortable with over text. For example, you might say “I’m good with some flirting over text but would rather save the racy stuff for when we’re together in person.”
Be transparent if dating other people
If either of you starts dating someone else seriously, be upfront about it right away. A simple message like “Just wanted to let you know I’ve started seeing someone regularly so we should probably cool it with the benefits part. I’m still up for being friends though.” This avoids hurt feelings and confusion down the road.
Open communication and setting clear boundaries around texting will help ensure your friends with benefits relationship stays light, fun and drama-free. With mutual respect and honesty, you can enjoy all the perks of intimacy with none of the commitment.
Best Practices for FWB Texting Conversations
When it comes to friends with benefits (FWB) relationships, texting conversations require some extra thought and care. The key is striking a balance between casual friendship and flirty romance. Follow these best practices to keep things fun and drama-free:
Be friendly but not too friendly
While you want to come across as warm and interested, don’t act like their best buddy by oversharing personal details or bombarding them with messages. Keep things light and casual. Respond when you have time and feel like chatting, not out of obligation.
Flirt but don’t get too flirty
A little playful banter and compliments are great, but avoid being overly affectionate or sending explicit messages right off the bat. Save those for in-person conversations. Keep flirting classy – you’re friends first, after all.
Meet in person when possible
Although texting is convenient, face to face interactions are ideal for FWB relationships. Make an effort to get together regularly outside of the bedroom to strengthen your connection, have meaningful conversations, and avoid miscommunications that can happen over text. Meet for a drink, watch a movie or just hang out.
Be transparent about your needs and expectations
Have an open conversation about what you both want out of your FWB relationship and come to an agreement. Be honest yet tactful. Discuss things like how often you want to meet up, appropriate levels of communication, dating other people, safe sex practices, and potential feelings that may develop over time.
When done right, FWB texting conversations can be playful and help bring you together while still keeping things uncomplicated. But always follow your instincts – if at any time something feels off or the dynamic starts to become unhealthy, don’t hesitate to speak up or end it if needed. Your happiness and wellbeing should be the priority.
Maintaining the Casual Vibe Through Text
To keep things casual, it’s important to maintain the right vibe and expectations through texting with your FWB.
Be Flirty but Don’t Be Needy
Flirt, tease and joke around to keep things fun and lighthearted. Send a cheeky text asking what they’re wearing or a flirty comment about missing them in your bed. But don’t bombard them with messages or double text if they don’t respond right away. Your FWB relationship is based on freedom and independence, so avoid seeming clingy or needy. Give them space and don’t make demands on their time.
Keep Plans Loose
Rather than planning elaborate dates, keep get-togethers relaxed and open-ended. A quick “Want to come over tonight?” text is perfect. Don’t pin them down to firm plans or commitments too far in advance. Your interactions should be spontaneous and easygoing. If they’re not available, don’t take it personally – you both have your own lives outside of your arrangement.
Don’t Get Too Personal
While you want to remain friendly, avoid getting into deep or emotional conversations over text. Don’t share extremely private details about your life or ask invasive questions about theirs. Keep things surface level and focused on your physical connection. If the conversation starts veering into more serious territory, redirect it back to flirting or making plans to meet up.
Set Clear Expectations
Be upfront about what you both want to avoid hurt feelings or confusion. Send a text reiterating that you want to keep things casual and commitment-free. Let them know you value your independence but enjoy the physical intimacy you share. Setting clear expectations will ensure you’re both on the same page about the terms of your FWB relationship.
Double check that you’re not slipping into more “relationshippy” behavior and pull back if needed. With open communication and the right mindset, you can keep your FWB situation light, fun and free of drama or complications. The key is finding the right balance through your texts and interactions.
When to Have the FWB “Talk” via Text
When you’ve been casually seeing someone for a while, it’s a good idea to have “the talk” to clarify where you both stand and what you want from the relationship. Since your connection started via texting, it may feel natural to have this conversation over text as well. Here are some tips for navigating “the FWB talk” through text:
•Bring it up when you’re both free to chat. Say something like, “Do you have a few minutes to talk about where this is going?” Make sure you both have the time and headspace for an important discussion.
•Be honest but kind about what you want. You might say, “I’ve really enjoyed our time together and wanted to see if you’re open to keeping things casual but exclusive.” Speak authentically about your needs and desires.
•Ask open-ended questions to understand their perspective. For example, “How do you feel this is going so far?” or “What are you looking for from this?” Really listen to what they share.
•Discuss dealbreakers and boundaries. Say, “Just to be upfront, these are some of my boundaries…” and list things like not staying over after intimacy or remaining discreet in public. See if your boundaries and dealbreakers align.
•Leave the door open to revisit the conversation. You might say, “Let’s continue as casual and exclusive for now, but please speak up if anything changes for you.” Make sure the lines of communication remain open.
•Meet in person if needed. Some talks are better face to face. If things feel unresolved over text or there’s confusion, suggest meeting up to clarify. In-person communication can help avoid misunderstandings.
Having an honest FWB talk via text may feel awkward, but it will give you both clarity and help ensure you’re on the same page about the relationship. With open communication, you can maintain a casual yet fulfilling connection.
So there you have it, the key rules for texting your friend with benefits without making things weird or awkward. Keep things light and casual, avoid being too affectionate or clingy over text, and definitely steer clear of sexting unless you’ve established that level of comfort and trust. Texting should be used to make plans to meet up in person, not to have long personal conversations or rehash emotional discussions you’ve already had face to face. If you follow these simple guidelines, you’ll be able to keep your fwb situation uncomplicated and enjoy the perks without the messiness. Happy texting!
Sharon Adisa is a content writer with expertise in relationship and life philosophy. She is knowledgeable in various areas of human relationships, including family dynamics, romantic relationships, friendships, and workplace relationships.