How to Make Your Boyfriend Feel Bad for Hurting You?

So your boyfriend messed up and now you want to make him squirm. We get it, revenge is sweet. But before you launch a full-scale attack, take a step back and think about whether hurting him back will actually make you feel better in the long run. If after reflection you still want to make him feel bad, we have a few suggestions to help you out. Be warned though, the methods we recommend may be slightly manipulative. But if he broke your heart, he deserves a little manipulation, right? The key is subtly letting him know what he did was not okay while still taking the high road. With a few well-placed comments, gestures, and posts, you’ll have him begging for forgiveness in no time.

Understand Why Your Boyfriend Hurt You

To make your boyfriend feel bad for hurting you, you first need to understand why he did it. Was it unintentional or did he mean to cause you pain? If it was unintentional, it may have been due to thoughtlessness or insensitivity on his part rather than malice.

Lack of Communication

  • He may have not understood how his actions or words would affect you. Be open and honest in communicating how certain things make you feel. Give specific examples so he understands the impact. If he’s apologetic and makes an effort to do better going forward, his actions were likely unintentional.


  • However, if he frequently puts his needs first or doesn’t seem to care about your feelings, his actions may stem from selfishness. Don’t make excuses for him – call out this behavior and let him know you won’t tolerate it. Be prepared to walk away if he doesn’t change.

Lack of Trust

  • Does he try to make you jealous or frequently accuses you of things you didn’t do? This points to trust and insecurity issues on his end, and he may hurt you to make himself feel more in control. Have an open conversation about building trust and set clear boundaries. But if he continues to hurt you, the healthiest thing is to end it.

While no one is perfect, your boyfriend should make you feel loved and respected. Don’t waste time on someone who repeatedly disregards your feelings. You deserve so much better! Make your feelings clear to give him a chance to do right by you. But if he continues to hurt you, walk away knowing you did what you could – the rest is up to him.

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Communicate Your Feelings in a Calm Way

Once you’ve calmed down, it’s time to talk to your boyfriend about how his actions made you feel.

Communicate in a constructive way

Sit down with him and explain that you want to have an open and honest conversation about what happened. Speak in a calm, composed tone without accusations. Say something like:

  • “I felt really hurt when you did XYZ. I want you to understand why.”
  • Give specific examples of words, actions or behaviors that were painful. Explain how those things made you feel in a vulnerable, emotionally intelligent way. For example, “When you said I was annoying in front of your friends, it made me feel embarrassed and like I didn’t matter to you.”
  • Share how his actions impacted you and your confidence in the relationship. You might say, “It’s made me question whether we’re on the same page about our future together.”
  • Ask open-ended questions to make sure he understands the depth of your hurt. Say, “Do you see why that would be upsetting for me?” or “Can you understand now why I’ve felt so distant?”
  • Explain what you need from him to heal and move forward. For example, “I need to know you’re committed to being more considerate of my feelings going forward.” or “I need a sincere apology and for you to be more transparent about your thoughts and where I stand with you.”

With open communication and a willingness to understand each other’s perspectives, you can work to rebuild trust and find your way back to a good place. But the effort has to come from both sides. Talking it through calmly and honestly is the first step.

Give Him a Chance to Apologize and Make Amends

Now that your boyfriend knows he hurt you, it’s time to give him a chance to make things right. Let him apologize and work to regain your trust.

  • Tell him you’re open to hearing what he has to say. Say something like, “I’m still upset, but I’m willing to listen.” This shows you’re receptive to working through the issue together.
  • Give him space to apologize sincerely. A heartfelt “I’m sorry” and acknowledgement of how he hurt you can go a long way. Look for specific examples that show he understands why you feel bad. Accept his apology if it seems genuine.
  • Ask him to make amends in meaningful ways. For example, if he ditched your date night plans, ask him to commit to a special evening together. If he said something hurtful, ask him to be more mindful of his words going forward. Setting the expectation for changed behavior will help rebuild trust.
  • Don’t be too quick to forgive before you’ve seen real effort on his part. While you want to give him a chance, you also want to protect yourself from repeated hurt. If he apologizes but then continues the same actions, call him out on the empty words. You deserve a boyfriend who treats you well through both words and actions.
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The path forward from here depends on how well he handles this opportunity. If he steps up, takes responsibility for his mistakes, and works to make you feel loved and respected again, that’s a good sign. But if he remains defensive or continues to shift blame, you may need to reevaluate the relationship. You should never feel bad for long in a healthy relationship. Here’s hoping this conflict makes your connection even stronger!

If He Doesn’t Respond, Withdraw Your Attention for a Bit

If your boyfriend isn’t responding to your previous efforts, it’s time to withdraw your attention for a while. This will make him realize what he’s missing and how much you mean to him.

Don’t reach out first

Stop texting, calling and making plans with him. Let him be the one to initiate contact. When he does reach out, keep things brief and casual. Be polite but distant, and don’t immediately suggest getting together. Wait for him to ask you out.

Stay busy and focus on yourself

Fill your time with hobbies, friends, and activities that you enjoy. Post photos on social media of you having a great time without him. This shows you have a full, happy life and don’t need him in order to do fun or interesting things. Your independence and self-confidence will make you even more appealing.

Be less available

If he asks if you want to hang out, tell him you have other plans. Don’t drop everything to spend time with him. Be mysterious about what’s keeping you busy. Your lack of availability will drive home the point that you won’t just sit around waiting for him.

Give short and vague answers

When you do communicate, keep things superficial. Don’t ask follow up questions or provide lengthy responses. Give the impression you have one foot out the door. Your aloofness will make him worry he’s losing you, and he’ll feel remorse for taking you for granted.

Withdrawing your attention in this way may be difficult, but it’s the wake up call your boyfriend needs. Stay strong, keep your distance, and don’t cave in right away when he starts making an effort again. His guilt and desire to win you back will make him value you like never before. In the end, he’ll be begging for your forgiveness and committing to do better – which is exactly what you wanted!

Focus on Self-Care and Healing

Now is the time to focus on yourself. Do small things each day that lift your mood and support your healing.

Connect with loved ones

Spend time with people who love and support you. Call a friend, have coffee with your mom, laugh with your siblings. Let others comfort you – you don’t have to go through this alone.

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Go for a walk or jog, do some yoga, get outside. Exercise releases endorphins that improve your mood and act as natural painkillers. Even just 30 minutes a day can help you feel better.

Eat healthy

Eat a balanced diet with plenty of fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins. Limit excess sugar, alcohol and caffeine which can worsen feelings of sadness or anxiety. Staying nourished will give you more energy to heal.

Engage in hobbies

Do something you enjoy, like reading a book, baking cookies, gardening or pursuing a hobby. Make time for activities that boost your confidence and self-esteem.

Practice self-care

Get enough sleep, limit screen time before bed, and try relaxation techniques like meditation, deep breathing, or journaling. Spending time focused on yourself will help ease painful emotions and find inner peace.

Seek professional help if needed

Don’t hesitate to call a therapist or counselor if you need additional support. Speaking to a professional can help you work through grief or trauma in a healthy way. They can also provide coping strategies and advice for your unique situation.

The pain you feel now is only temporary, even if it doesn’t seem that way. Focusing on self-care and surrounding yourself with your support network will help you heal and become stronger. In time, the hurt will fade, and you will move on to brighter days.


So there you have it. A few simple yet effective ways to make your guy feel really bad about whatever insensitive or hurtful thing he did. The key is staying calm and collected while also helping him understand the impact of his actions. If done right, he’ll be falling over himself to make things right and ensure he never hurts you like that again. And you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing you handled the situation with grace and maturity. The best revenge, as they say, is living well – even if it’s just for a few minutes while you put your guy in his place. Use these tips sparingly though, you don’t want him to catch on to your tricks! Ultimately the goal should be to build a healthy relationship based on mutual trust and respect. But for now, just sit back and enjoy making him squirm.

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