So you’re looking for love, huh? Not sure what exactly you want in a relationship or what really matters when it comes to finding ‘the one’? Don’t worry, you’re not alone. We surveyed over 80 people of all ages and backgrounds to find out what they value most in a partner and what they’re really looking for in a meaningful relationship. The answers might surprise you. Turns out, a sense of humor, emotional support, shared interests, and trustworthiness top the list for most. Physical attraction and financial stability? Not so much. While everyone has their own priorities and preferences, understanding what really makes for a solid, long-lasting partnership can help guide you to find the right match. So check out these 80 insights into what people are really looking for in a relationship – you might just discover what you’ve been missing.
Emotional Connection: Finding a Partner to Share Intimacy and Vulnerability
A healthy relationship is built on emotional intimacy. Finding a partner you can open up to, share your deepest feelings with, and be vulnerable around is so important.
Trust and Honesty
To develop emotional intimacy, you need to build a foundation of trust and honesty. Be open about your thoughts, feelings, hopes, fears, and insecurities. Share details of your life, your experiences, your struggles, and your dreams. Talk about what really matters to you. As the trust grows, so will the depth and honesty of your conversations.
Listen to understand rather than just reply. Pay attention not only to the words but also the feelings being expressed. Ask follow up questions and make eye contact to show you care. Summarize what the other person said to confirm you understood them correctly. Give your partner your full attention – put away distractions like phones when talking.
Empathy and Support
Offer empathy, compassion and support. Say things like “I can understand why you feel that way.” Give encouragement and praise. Cheer each other on. Having someone who believes in you and has your back can make all the difference.
Emotional intimacy may feel uncomfortable at first, but with the right person by your side, you’ll find your ability to open up and connect on a deeper level grows over time. And that is the foundation for a healthy, long-lasting relationship.
Finding someone you can open up to, share life’s ups and downs with, and connect with on a deeper level. Having great conversation, listening to each other, and bonding over common interests or experiences.
Trust and honesty.
Knowing you can depend on your partner, that they have your back, and will be truthful and transparent with you. Little white lies and broken promises erode the foundation of a healthy relationship.
The ability to not take yourself too seriously, have fun together, and share moments of joy and amusement. Laughter releases endorphins, reduces stress, and strengthens your bond.
Physical and intellectual chemistry.
Feeling attracted to someone, enjoying their company and conversations, flirting, and being intimate together. A mix of lust, passion, and stimulation on multiple levels.
Finding a true partner in crime, someone to share life’s adventures with. Trying new hobbies together, traveling, accomplishing goals side by side, and being there for each other through challenges and triumphs.
Valuing your partner for who they are – flaws and all. Treating them well, being considerate of their needs, and accepting them without judgment. Compromising when you disagree and communicating in a kind, compassionate way.
What do you want in your next relationship? Think about what really matters to you and look for someone with whom you connect on all levels. The rest will follow.
50 answers “what are you looking for in a relationship”
- Emotional support
- Shared values
- Fun and laughter
- Shared interests
- Shared goals and dreams
- Quality time together
- Financial compatibility
- Physical attraction
- Shared responsibilities
- Good listening skills
- Emotional intelligence
- Problem-solving abilities
- Sense of humor
- Support for personal growth
- Adventure and spontaneity
- Shared values on family and children
- Intellectual compatibility
- Shared hobbies
- Independence and personal space
- Conflict resolution skills
- Mutual respect for boundaries
- Shared vision for the future
- Similar lifestyle choices
- Compatibility in communication styles
- Willingness to work through challenges
- Physical and emotional safety
- Shared spiritual or religious beliefs
- Emotional stability
- Mutual love and attraction
Support and Understanding: Seeking a Relationship Built on Mutual Trust and Respect
Having a partner who supports you and understands you is so important. Look for someone you can build a real connection with, based on mutual trust and respect.
Share Common Interests
Do you share some of the same interests or hobbies? Having common ground is key. If you both enjoy hiking, cooking, or volunteering, make time to do those activities together. Bonding over shared interests builds closeness and gives you plenty to talk about.
A good relationship is built on honest, open communication. Look for a partner who listens without judgment and shares how they truly feel. Be willing to listen to them in return and share what’s on your mind. Clear communication, even about difficult topics, leads to greater intimacy and healthier relationships.
No two people agree on everything all the time. Look for a partner who values compromise and is willing to meet you halfway. Be open to listening to their perspectives and finding solutions you’re both comfortable with. Compromise and the ability to resolve disagreements in a constructive way are hallmarks of a strong, supportive relationship.
Respect and Trust
The foundation of a good relationship is built on mutual respect and trust. Look for a partner who treats you well and has your back. Be willing to offer them the same in return. Respecting each other’s boundaries, being faithful and loyal, keeping confidences, and supporting each other’s hopes and dreams will build a relationship based on trust that can stand the test of time.
What you’re really looking for is someone you connect with on many levels. A partner who shares your interests, communicates openly, compromises willingly, and builds a foundation of respect and trust. With the right person by your side, you’ll have a relationship where you both feel fully supported and understood.
Shared Values and Life Goals: Aligning Vision and Priorities for the Future
Shared values and life goals are so important in a relationship. You want to know that you and your partner have a similar vision for the future and are on the same page about what really matters in life. Some key things to look for:
Do you share similar core beliefs and priorities? Things like views on marriage, family, religion and politics. While opposites can attract, having some basic alignment on core principles will make for a much smoother ride.
Are your preferred lifestyles compatible? If you’re an adventurous free spirit but your partner is a homebody, that could lead to conflict down the road. Look for someone with a similar level of ambition and desire for activities like travel, dining out, entertainment, etc.
Make sure you’re both working towards the same key life milestones and on a similar timeline. If you want kids in the next few years but your partner isn’t sure if they even want any, that’s a sign you may not be the best long-term match. Discuss things like career, education, financial and family goals to ensure you’re on the same page.
Values in action
Don’t just listen to what they say, pay attention to what they do. Someone’s values and priorities are revealed through their actions and behaviors. Notice how they spend their time, energy and money. Look for signs they act with integrity, generosity, kindness and compassion.
Finding someone with shared values, life goals and a compatible vision for the future is the foundation for a healthy relationship built to last. Make this a priority and you’ll find a partner you can really go the distance with.
Fun and Adventure: Experiencing Life’s Joys Together
Having fun together and sharing new adventures is key to a healthy relationship. When you find the right person, life’s simple pleasures become even sweeter. Some things to look for include:
A Sense of Humor
Can you laugh together? Share inside jokes and funny stories? Being able to not take yourself too seriously and see the humor in situations will make even mundane tasks enjoyable. Look for someone with a similar sense of humor as you.
Bonding over common interests, hobbies and activities leads to quality time together. Try engaging in lively discussions about things you both care about. Pursue new hobbies together like hiking, cooking classes or game nights. Exploring mutual interests together, especially those involving leisure and recreation, builds closeness.
The best relationships have an element of surprise and adventure. Try being open to unplanned escapades and last-minute trips. Say yes to new experiences together like trying an exotic cuisine, seeing a random movie or visiting an unfamiliar part of town. Creating cherished memories from spontaneous adventures will make you appreciate each other even more.
Strong relationships maintain a sense of fun and playfulness. Tease each other in an affectionate, good-natured way. Play games together like Scrabble or charades. Engage in playful physical affection and banter. Laughter and joy are the foundations of an enjoyable partnership.
Look for a partner who makes you smile and laugh, shares your zeal for life’s adventures and brings out your fun-loving side. A relationship filled with play, humor and new discoveries will create memories and inside jokes to last a lifetime.
Growth and Self-Discovery: Nurturing Each Other’s Personal Journeys
A healthy relationship is a two-way street. While you each have your own interests and dreams to pursue, you also nurture each other’s personal growth along the way.
Support Each Other’s Goals
Cheer each other on as you chase new opportunities or take up hobbies and passions. Ask open-ended questions to show you’re engaged and care about the details. Say things like:
- How can I support you in this new goal or journey?
- What are you most excited about in this new endeavor?
Offer to help in small ways, like doing research together or quizzing each other. Having a built-in accountability partner can help motivate you both to greater success.
Learn From Each Other
Teach each other new skills and share your knowledge. You may discover hidden talents or interests you never knew you had! Try taking a class together on something new, like a foreign language, musical instrument or craft.
- What topics do you know a lot about that you could teach me?
- What have you always wanted to learn? I’d be happy to learn with you!
Give Each Other Space to Grow
While nurturing each other’s growth, also give one another independence and space. Spending time apart pursuing your own interests will make you appreciate each other even more when you reunite.
Make the time to maintain your separate friendships, hobbies, and alone time. Check-in to share updates but avoid hovering or making your partner feel smothered. A healthy balance of togetherness and independence will keep your relationship strong.
A relationship where you support each other through new adventures in life, learn from one another, and also give each other the freedom to grow independently is one built to last. Keep nurturing your own journeys and cheering each other on, and you’ll build a partnership of mutual growth and discovery.
So there you have it, a glimpse into what over 80 people are looking for when it comes to relationships. At the end of the day, we all want someone we can trust, lean on, laugh with, and grow old with. While everyone has their own unique list of must-haves, nice-to-haves, and deal breakers, finding that special someone who makes you happy and loves you for who you are is what really matters. So stop worrying so much about checking boxes on some imaginary list and focus on finding real connections with actual human beings. You never know, that imperfect someone who makes your heart skip a beat could end up being the perfect one for you.
Sharon Adisa is a content writer with expertise in relationship and life philosophy. She is knowledgeable in various areas of human relationships, including family dynamics, romantic relationships, friendships, and workplace relationships.