As someone who has been on both sides of this situation, I understand how difficult it can be to realize that your ex is keeping you as a backup option. It can feel like a blow to your self-esteem and make it hard to move on. But the truth is, being someone’s backup plan is not fair to you or the other person. In this article, I’m going to help you understand the signs that you’re being kept as a backup and give you advice on how to move on from this role.
Introduction to the concept of being a backup
Being someone’s backup plan means that they’re keeping you around in case their current dating situation doesn’t work out. You’re not their first choice, but you’re there as a safety net. This can be painful to hear, but it’s important to understand that it’s not a reflection of your worth or value as a person.
Why do people keep their ex as a backup?
There are many reasons why someone might keep their ex as a backup plan. For some, it’s a fear of being alone. They want to make sure they have someone to fall back on if things don’t work out with their current partner. For others, it’s a sense of comfort and familiarity. They know what they’re getting with their ex and they don’t want to risk the unknown with someone new.
Understanding the signs that you’re being kept as a backup
Now, let’s talk about the signs that you’re being kept as a backup. It’s important to note that just because your ex exhibits one or two of these signs, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re keeping you as a backup. However, if you notice several of these signs, it’s a good indication that you’re not their first choice.
Signs Your Ex Is Keeping You as a Backup
Sign #1: They only contact you when they’re lonely
If your ex only reaches out to you when they’re feeling lonely or bored, it’s a sign that you’re not a priority in their life. They’re only thinking about you when they need something from you, whether that’s emotional support or physical intimacy.
Sign #2: They’re hesitant to make plans with you
When someone is keeping you as a backup, they’re not going to be eager to make plans with you. They’ll keep things casual and non-committal, because they don’t want to risk losing their current dating situation.
Sign #3: They’re secretive about their current dating life
If your ex is keeping you as a backup, they’re not going to want you to know too much about their current dating situation. They’ll be vague and evasive when you ask them about their love life, because they don’t want to upset you or risk losing you as a backup option.
Sign #4: They’re not interested in your life
When someone is keeping you as a backup, they’re not going to be interested in your life outside of their own needs. They’ll ask about your day and make small talk, but they’re not going to show a genuine interest in your goals, dreams, or passions.
Sign #5: They’re quick to bring up the past
If your ex is keeping you as a backup, they’re going to be nostalgic for the past. They’ll bring up old memories and inside jokes, because they’re trying to recreate the comfort and familiarity of your past relationship.
Sign #6: They keep in touch with your friends and family
When someone is keeping you as a backup, they’re going to want to maintain a connection to your life. They’ll stay in touch with your friends and family, because they know that it gives them a better chance of staying in your life.
Sign #7: They only want to hang out at home
If your ex is only interested in hanging out at home, it’s a sign that they’re not interested in going out and doing things with you. They’re comfortable in their routine and they don’t want to risk being seen in public with you.
Sign #8: They’re hesitant to meet your new partner
When someone is keeping you as a backup, they’re not going to be eager to meet your new partner. They’ll be jealous and possessive, because they don’t want to risk losing you to someone else.
Sign #9: They use pet names or inside jokes
If your ex is using pet names or inside jokes, it’s a sign that they’re trying to recreate the intimacy of your past relationship. They’re not interested in moving on and creating new memories with someone else.
Sign #10: They’re still possessive of you
When someone is keeping you as a backup, they’re going to be possessive of you. They’ll get jealous if they hear about you dating someone new, because they don’t want to risk losing you as a backup option.
Sign #11: They only want to hook up
If your ex is only interested in hooking up with you, it’s a sign that they’re not interested in a real relationship. They’re using you for physical intimacy, but they’re not interested in committing to you emotionally.
Sign #12: They’re hot and cold with their feelings
One minute, your ex is showering you with attention and affection. The next, they’re distant and cold. This can be incredibly confusing and emotionally draining.
If your ex can’t make up their mind about how they feel about you, it might be a sign that they’re keeping you around as a backup. They might not be sure if they want to be with you, but they don’t want to let you go either.
It’s important to have open and honest communication about your feelings and expectations. If they can’t give you the clarity you need, it might be time to move on.
Sign #13: They’re not willing to commit
If your ex is hesitant to commit to a real relationship with you, it might be a sign that they’re keeping you around as a backup plan. They might enjoy the attention and familiarity, but they’re not willing to fully invest in a future with you.
It’s important to know your worth and not settle for someone who isn’t willing to commit to you. If they can’t give you the commitment and respect you deserve, it’s time to move on.
Conclusion
Being someone’s backup plan can be emotionally draining and detrimental to your self-worth. It’s important to recognize the signs and take action to move on.
Set clear boundaries and communicate your feelings and expectations. Don’t settle for being someone’s second choice or late-night booty call. Know your worth and demand the respect and commitment you deserve.
It’s okay to let go of the past and move on to a brighter future. Don’t be the backup plan. Be someone’s first choice.
Also Read:Signs Your Ex Never Loved You
We are a team of experts who have struggled as well as found the right solutions to find and fix issues in the relationship and turn it into a lovable and passionate relationship.
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