50+ questions to ask your lover when chatting

You’ve been chatting with your lover all day, the conversation flowing endlessly. But now you’re running out of things to say and the dreaded awkward silence looms. Before the conversation stalls, here are 10 questions to ask your lover to keep the chat going and spark an engaging discussion. You’ll learn more about them, strengthen your connection, and avoid the uncomfortable quiet. So take a deep breath and dive into these thought-provoking questions. The answers may surprise you and bring you closer together, even from far away.

Common questions to ask your lover when chatting

1. What is your favorite book/movie genre, and why?
2. Do you prefer to stay in or go out on weekends?
3. What is your biggest fear, and how do you deal with it?
4. What is the one thing you cannot live without?
5. What are your favorite hobbies, and what drew you to them?
6. What do you think is your worst habit?
7. What is your favorite childhood memory?
8. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go, and why?
9. What is your favorite type of music?
10. What are your career aspirations?

11. Have you ever been in love before?
12. What do you think are the qualities of a healthy relationship?
13. What do you think is the most important thing in a relationship?
14. What are your long-term goals in life?
15. Do you have any regrets in life?
16. What motivates you to wake up in the morning?
17. What is your biggest life achievement so far?
18. What do you consider to be the most meaningful part of your life?
19. What is your idea of a perfect date?
20. Do you believe in love at first sight?

21. If you could meet anyone in the world, dead or alive, who would it be, and why?
22. What is the craziest thing you have ever done?
23. What is your favorite food, and why?
24. Do you have any pets, and what are their names?
25. What is your guilty pleasure?
26. What is your favorite holiday, and why?
27. What is your funniest childhood memory?
28. What is your favorite type of weather?
29. What is the scariest movie you have ever watched?
30. If you could learn any skill, what would it be?

31. What is your idea of a perfect relationship?
32. What is your love language?
33. What makes you feel most loved?
34. Have you ever written a love letter, and if so, to whom?
35. What song reminds you of us?
36. What is the most romantic thing you have ever done for someone?
37. What are some qualities you look for in a partner?
38. What is your idea of an ideal proposal?
39. What physical trait of mine do you find most attractive?
40. What do you think is the most important thing we can do to maintain a healthy relationship?

Fun Questions to Get the Conversation Flowing

Have you been chatting with your new love interest and want to keep the conversation light and playful? Here are some fun questions to ask:

1. If you could instantly become an expert in one subject, what would it be?
2. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
3. Is there a cause you really care about? Why is it meaningful to you?
4. What are you most grateful for?
5. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one ability or quality, what would it be?
6. What’s your favorite way to spend a day off?
7. What do you do to relax and unwind?
8. What’s your favorite movie or book and why did it resonate with you?
9. If you could pick up a new skill in an instant what would it be?
10. What’s your typical perfect weekend day?

Double down on the fun by suggesting you both answer the same questions and compare answers. Discussing lighthearted topics like dreams, interests, values and ideals is a great way to get insight into your connection and see if you’re aligned. The key is to relax, be your authentic self, listen without judgment and appreciate each other’s perspectives.Keep things positive and focus on bonding over your shared interests and what makes you both smile.

Deep Questions to Strengthen Your Connection

To strengthen your connection, ask your lover some deeper questions. Dig into what really matters to them and find out what makes them tick.

Your Dreams and Aspirations

What are your biggest dreams in life? What goals are you working toward? Supporting each other’s dreams will bring you closer together.

Your Values and Priorities

What things are most important to you? What values do you hold dear? Understanding one another’s priorities and values provides insight into what motivates and fulfills you.

Challenges and Fears

What are you most afraid of? What are your biggest challenges right now? Opening up about difficulties creates vulnerability and intimacy. Offer comfort and encouragement to your partner.

Your Perfect Day

If you had no obligations or responsibilities, what would be your perfect day? Learning how your lover envisions their ideal escape or adventure gives you a glimpse into what brings them joy.

Regrets and Mistakes

What are your biggest regrets in life? What mistakes have you made that you learned from? Discussing regrets and mistakes shows your humanity and builds closeness through sharing imperfections.

Hopes for the Relationship

What are your hopes, dreams and desires for our relationship? What can I do to be a better partner to you? Understanding each other’s vision for an ideal relationship will help strengthen your connection and set you on the right path.

Discussing these deeper topics with openness and honesty can lead to greater intimacy and understanding between you and your lover. While not always easy, having meaningful conversations is the key to a strong, long-lasting relationship.

Flirty Questions to Spice Things Up

Flirting with your lover is a fun way to spice up your conversation and connection. Here are some flirty questions to ask:

Have you been working out?

Your arms/legs/abs are looking really toned.

• What are you wearing right now?
• If you could kiss me anywhere, where would it be?
• What do you find most attractive about me?
• If you had one wish, what would you wish for?
• What’s your wildest fantasy? I won’t judge.

What qualities do you like most in a partner?

It’s always good to make sure you both value the same things in a lover or mate. Learning more about what they cherish in a partner helps deepen your bond and understanding.

• Do you believe in love at first sight?
• What’s your definition of a perfect date?
• If you could plan an ideal romantic getaway, what would it be like?
• Have you ever been in love? What was it like?
• What excites you?

If I gave you a full body massage right now, where would you want me to focus?

A sensual question like this conveys your desire in a playful, flirtatious way. But only ask this if you know they would respond positively and you both feel comfortable exploring in this way.

•Where’s your favorite place to be kissed?

•What’s your favorite body part of mine?

•What about me drives you crazy (in a good way)?

Flirting should be fun and help bring you closer together. Ask follow up questions, listen without judgment and reciprocate by answering any questions they ask you as well. Most of all, relax and enjoy this intimate conversation with your lover.

Thought-Provoking Questions to Spark Intimacy

• What are your core values? What principles guide your life?
• If you could instantly become an expert in one subject, what would it be?
• If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
• Is there a cause you really care about? What is it and why does it matter to you?
• If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one ability or quality, what would it be?
• If a genie granted you three wishes, what would you wish for? (No cheating and wishing for more wishes!)
• What’s your favorite way to spend a day off? What does your perfect Sunday look like?
• What’s your favorite book or movie and why did it resonate with you?
• If you could instantly become an expert in one subject, what would it be?
• What do you value most in a friendship?
• What’s your favorite memory with me so far? I’d love to hear why that particular moment stands out.
• How do you think we’ve both changed and grown over the course of our relationship?
• What are your goals and dreams? How can I support you in achieving them?
• If you knew you only had one month left to live, what would you do? Who would you want to spend time with?
• What do you think the future holds for us as a couple? Where would you like to see us in 1 year? 5 years? 10+ years?

Lighthearted Questions to Make Your Lover Smile

When chatting with your lover, lighthearted questions can help create moments of connection and bring you closer together. Here are some playful questions to make them smile:

• If you could instantly become an expert in one subject, what would it be?
• If you could invite three people, dead or alive, to dinner tonight, who would you choose?
• If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one ability or quality, what would it be?
• If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
• If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?
• If you could witness any event of the past, present, or future, what would you want to see?
• If a genie granted you three wishes, what would you wish for? (besides more wishes!)
• If you could turn into any animal for a day, what animal would you choose to be?
• What silly or useless talent do you have?
• What really gets on your nerves but really shouldn’t?
• What are you interested in that most people aren’t?
• What’s your favorite indoor or outdoor activity?

Questions like these show you’re interested in understanding them on a deeper level. Laugh with them over their silly talents or far-fetched wishes. Share what you would choose in return. Moments of playfulness and levity strengthen your connection as a couple. While life certainly has its serious moments, make time to smile and revel in each other’s humor and joy.

Conclusion

You now have plenty of questions to start a meaningful conversation with your lover. Asking insightful questions shows you care and builds intimacy. Don’t bombard them with too many questions at once. Spread them out over time and listen carefully to the answers. Pay attention for follow up questions. Most importantly, share information about yourself too, not just extracting details from your partner. A healthy relationship is based on mutual understanding and respect. Use these questions as a starting point, then explore whatever topics you both find most interesting and meaningful. Keep learning and growing closer through open communication and quality time together.

21 questions for couples