You’ve been dating this guy for a few months now and things seem to be going well. The chemistry is there, you have fun together, and you’re really starting to like him. The only problem is he doesn’t always seem to take you seriously. He frequently brushes off your opinions or concerns, makes empty promises he doesn’t keep, or just generally acts like what you want or need isn’t that important. If this sounds familiar, don’t worry – there are a few simple things you can do to make your boyfriend sit up, pay attention, and start giving you the respect you deserve. It’s time to stop being an afterthought and become his top priority. With a few key techniques, you’ll have him taking you seriously in no time.
Communicate Your Needs Clearly and Directly
If you want your boyfriend to take you seriously, the most important thing is to communicate your needs to him directly.
Sit down with him and explain how certain actions make you feel and what you need to feel happy in the relationship. For example, say something like:
- “When you brush off my concerns or cancel plans at the last minute to hang out with your friends, it makes me feel like I’m not a priority. I need to feel like you value me and the time we spend together.”
Be honest but tactful, focusing on “I” statements. Don’t accuse or attack, just explain how certain behaviors impact you and what you need to change. Give concrete examples to help him understand better.
It may also help to call out instances where he does take you seriously to reinforce that type of behavior. For example, “I really appreciated you listening to me the other day about my frustrations at work. It made me feel heard and supported.” Positive reinforcement can go a long way.
You should also make sure to follow through on the conversation with action. If after communicating your needs, he still frequently cancels plans or doesn’t make you a priority, you may need to reevaluate the relationship. You deserve a partner who will treat you well and value you.
Standing up for yourself in a constructive way and being open about what you need is the best way to make your boyfriend take you seriously. Be honest, be consistent, and be willing to walk away if he’s unable to meet you halfway. You’ve got this!
Don’t Let Him Dismiss Your Feelings
Don’t brush off his dismissive behavior – call him out on it. When he ignores your feelings or concerns, be direct by saying something like:
“It feels like you’re not taking what I said seriously. My feelings matter and I need you to listen.”
Stand up for yourself in a calm, confident way. Don’t plead or get emotional, just state the facts. If he continues to be dismissive, you may need to reevaluate the relationship.
Be consistent and follow through. Don’t change your tune just because he’s being sweet – stay focused on your key points. If you say you need him to call more, hold him accountable to that. Don’t let things slide one week only to bring them up again the next.
Pay attention to his actions more than his words. If he says he’ll make an effort but his behavior doesn’t actually change, his words were likely just meant to placate you in the moment. Judge the relationship based on what he does, not what he says.
When he does take your concerns seriously and makes an effort to change, express your appreciation. Positive reinforcement will make him want to continue gaining your trust and respect. Say something like:
“I noticed you made an effort to call more this week. I really appreciate you listening to me – it means a lot.”
If after trying the above steps he continues to dismiss you regularly, you deserve a relationship where your feelings are valued and respected. Don’t stay with someone hoping they’ll change – accept what they’re capable of, and make your decision accordingly. You’re worth being taken seriously!
Don’t Change Yourself for Him
Don’t change who you are just to please your boyfriend or get him to take you more seriously. Doing so will only make you unhappy in the long run and damage your self-esteem.
Stay true to your interests and values. Continue pursuing your own hobbies, dreams, and friendships. Make time for yourself to do things you genuinely enjoy. While it’s great to share interests with your partner, you shouldn’t have to give up the activities and people that matter most to you.
Speak up when you disagree. Don’t be afraid to voice your real opinions and stand up for what you believe in. Avoid pretending to share all of the same views just to gain his approval or avoid conflict. Share your perspectives openly and honestly in a respectful way. Compromise when you can, but don’t compromise your principles.
Maintain your own life outside the relationship. Keep seeing your friends regularly and make your own plans. While spending quality time together is important, you also need your own space to be independent. Don’t revolve your whole life and schedule around your boyfriend’s needs and wants.
Be confident in who you are. Focus on your own self-worth – not what your boyfriend or anyone else thinks about you. Appreciate your own strengths, values, and accomplishments. Know that you deserve to be in a healthy relationship where you feel respected and cared for.
If you stay authentic to yourself, your boyfriend will have the opportunity to love you for who you really are. And if he can’t fully appreciate you, then he may not be the right person for the long-term. You deserve someone who will respect you as an equal and support you in pursuing your own dreams and priorities in life.
Set Healthy Boundaries
To make your boyfriend take you seriously, you’ll need to establish healthy boundaries. This means clearly communicating your needs and expectations, and not being afraid to call him out when those aren’t being met.
Express What You Want
Tell your boyfriend specifically what you want and don’t want in the relationship. For example, say something like: “I want us to spend quality time together at least twice a week. Constant texting isn’t enough for me.” Or, “I don’t want to feel like you’re dismissing my opinions. Please listen when I talk and respect what I have to say.” Be honest but kind about your needs.
Follow Through With Consequences
Don’t make empty threats. If your boyfriend continues to cross the line after you’ve expressed yourself, you need to take action. This could be not making plans to see him that week, or not responding to his texts for a day. Calmly explain why his behavior is unacceptable and that there will be consequences when he doesn’t respect your boundaries. Be prepared to actually follow through with what you say.
Compromise When Possible
A healthy relationship involves compromise from both sides. Be open to listening to your boyfriend’s perspective and making adjustments to suit his needs as well. Find a solution you’re both happy and comfortable with. Meet each other halfway.
Reinforce your boundaries and expectations regularly. Don’t give in just to avoid conflict or because it’s convenient in the moment. Remind your boyfriend of what’s important to you and that you’re serious about the relationship. Be willing to have difficult conversations when needed. Consistency and follow through are key.
Setting clear boundaries and expectations, expressing your needs, and taking action when those aren’t met will help make your boyfriend take you seriously. It may take work, but you deserve a healthy relationship where you feel heard and respected. Don’t settle for less.
Know When Enough Is Enough
At some point, you need to determine if your boyfriend’s lack of seriousness about your relationship is a deal breaker. While you want to be understanding and give him opportunities to step up, you can’t wait around forever.
Enough is enough if:
- He avoids commitment after dating for 6-12 months. If he’s still reluctant to call you his girlfriend or doesn’t want to commit to exclusivity, that’s a red flag.
- He frequently cancels plans or doesn’t show up when he says he will. Someone who values you will make the time and effort to see you. Consistently breaking promises is disrespectful.
- He refuses to compromise or meet you halfway. Relationships require balance, and if he’s unwilling to consider your needs and opinions, he’s not ready for a serious partnership.
- He lies or hides things from you. Honesty and trust are the foundations of a healthy relationship. If he’s deceitful or secretive, don’t ignore these signs.
- You feel more like a convenience than a priority. If he only makes time for you when it suits him or his schedule is open, you deserve better.
- He avoids “serious” conversations. If he changes the subject whenever you bring up commitment, the future, values, or relationship issues, that’s a sign he’s not ready to take you seriously.
While it’s hard, sometimes ending a relationship that’s not meeting your needs is the wisest choice. Don’t settle for less than you deserve in hopes that he’ll come around someday. Find someone who will love and respect you fully, right from the start. The longer you stay in a dead-end relationship, the less opportunity you have to find the right match for you.
So there you have it, a few tips to help make your boyfriend sit up and take notice. Remember, you deserve to be in a healthy relationship where you feel heard and respected. Don’t be afraid to speak up for what you need. Be authentic, confident and true to yourself. If after trying these suggestions he’s still not coming around, you may need to ask yourself whether this relationship is right for you in the long run. You can’t force someone to change their behavior, you can only control your own reactions and what you choose to put up with. Stand up for yourself and don’t settle for less than you deserve. Take a cue from Queen Bey – put a ring on it or move on to find someone who will treat you like the queen you are!
We are a team of experts who have struggled as well as found the right solutions to find and fix issues in the relationship and turn it into a lovable and passionate relationship.