Ever been on a date or hanging out with a girl you like and run out of things to say? The conversation lulls into awkward silence and you rack your brain for a way to restart it and get to know her better. The 21 questions game is a great way to revive an awkward lull in conversation, learn more about her in a casual way, and strengthen your connection. You’ve probably played a version of it before – you each take turns asking and answering questions about each other to build familiarity and rapport. But when it comes to talking with a girl you’re into romantically, it can feel like all the questions you had for casual acquaintances have fled your mind. Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered. Here are 21 questions you can ask a girl to get the conversation flowing. By the end of the game, you’ll have learned a lot more about her and be well on your way to strengthening your bond.
What Is the 21 Questions Game?
The 21 Questions game is a fun way to get to know someone better. It’s simple – you take turns asking each other questions to reveal more about one another. The key is asking open-ended questions that encourage detailed answers.
Keep it light and casual
Start with easy questions like:
- What’s your favorite hobby?
- If you could instantly become an expert in one subject, what would it be?
- If you could travel anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?
Ease into more personal questions as you continue the conversation. But don’t ask anything too serious or invasive. The point is to have an engaging dialog, not an interrogation!
Listen and ask follow up questions
Show you’re paying attention by asking related follow up questions. If she says she’d love to visit Italy, ask what attracts her to that country. Give your own answers to the questions she asks you to keep things balanced.
Most importantly, have fun!
The 21 Questions game should be enjoyable for both of you. If at any point either of you feels uncomfortable, suggest switching to a lighter topic of conversation. You can always return to the game at another time when the mood feels right.
With the right mix of creative questions and active listening, the 21 Questions game can be a great way to get closer to someone special. So take your time, be respectful of any boundaries, and most importantly, appreciate learning more about each other through casual conversation.
21 questions game to ask a girl
So you want to get to know a girl better through a fun little game of 21 questions, do you? This classic get-to-know-you game is a great way to break the ice and see if you have a connection.
1. What are your long-term goals?
Asking this question shows that you’re interested in learning about her life ambitions, and can lead to interesting conversations about career aspirations, family plans, and personal growth.
2. What are your favorite hobbies?
You can learn a lot about someone by asking about their hobbies. This could lead to discovering mutual interests or a new hobby you might be interested in trying together.
3. What type of music do you like?
Music is a universal language, and asking about her favorite type of music or favorite band can reveal a lot about her personality, or maybe even lead to discovering new music together.
4. What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?
This question will reveal the adventurous side of a girl. Plus, it’s great to see if you share a similar love for spontaneous activities.
5. What is your life philosophy or motto?
Asking this question can be really insightful, and can help you understand the way she approaches life.
6. Do you like to travel? Where is your favorite place you’ve visited?
Travel is a great topic to discuss with someone, especially if you both love exploring new places.
7. What is the best advice you’ve ever received?
By asking this question, you can learn about the influences in her life or the lessons she’s learned that have impacted her life positively.
8. What’s your favorite type of food?
Asking about food is always a win. It will give you some insight into a girl’s food preferences and may even give an opportunity to explore new culinary experiences.
9. What is your idea of a perfect day?
This question can help you picture the perfect day with her, and can lead to some romantic date ideas.
10. What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?
This question can lead to a good laugh, and also signify how comfortable she is with opening up and telling you personal stories.
11. What’s your favorite book/movie?
This question can give you insight into her taste in literature or film, prompting great conversation on the subject and maybe books or movies to watch or read together.
12. What’s one thing most people don’t know about you?
Asking this reinforces the trust between the two of you and opens opportunities for deeper connections.
13. What’s your favorite childhood memory?
It’s always heartwarming to hear about someone’s childhood memories and how they continue to affect their lives.
14. What’s something that you’re currently working on improving about yourself?
It takes a lot of courage to admit your weaknesses, and by asking her this question, you might gain a lot more respect for her.
15. What makes you happiest in life?
It’s a great moment to learn how you might be able to brighten her day.
16. What are some qualities that you value in your friends?
Hearing what qualities she admires in others can give you insight into what qualities she herself possesses.
17. What’s one place you’ve always wanted to visit?
Asking this question can lead to fun future travel plans together.
18. What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
This question helps you understand a girl’s perspective of herself and her self-esteem.
19. What’s your favorite memory with your family?
By asking about her cherished memories with her family, she’s opening up about something important to her life.
20. What are your favorite qualities in a partner?
Hearing what qualities she admires in others can give you insight into what qualities she herself possesses, and also help guide relationship expectations.
21. What are you looking for in a partner?
Close out by asking what goals should you work towards. What are her significant characteristics that partners should have?
Fun and Flirty Questions to Ask a Girl
Once you’ve broken the ice with some casual questions, it’s time to spice things up! Asking flirty, romantic questions is a fun way to get to know her better while showing your interest. But be careful not to make her uncomfortable by asking overly personal questions too soon.
How about starting with something lighthearted like:
- If you could instantly become an expert in one subject, what would it be? This shows you’re interested in her passions and dreams.
- If you could travel anywhere in the world right now, where would you go? Her answer will reveal what kinds of adventures or experiences she values.
- Do you have any hidden talents? Everyone has a secret skill or quirk—see if you can get her to open up about hers.
- If you could instantly know how to speak another language fluently, which language would you choose? Learning a new language together could be an exciting shared experience.
Once she seems comfortable opening up, you might ask:
- What’s your idea of a perfect date? Her response will clue you in on the kind of romantic gestures she appreciates.
- Do you believe in love at first sight? Whether she does or doesn’t, this question opens the door to talking about relationships and what you’re both looking for.
The key is to start playful and gradually make the questions more personal as your connection builds. Show you’re genuinely interested in learning what makes her tick. Keep things light and avoid interrogation. Most importantly, listen and be open to sharing details about yourself, too. Building rapport and intimacy is a two-way street!
Deep Questions to Really Get to Know Her
Asking the right questions can lead to hours of interesting conversation and help you get a sense of whether she’s really someone you connect with. Beyond the usual questions about favorites and hobbies, try some of these deeper ones to gain insight into what really matters to her.
What causes are you passionate about? The things she cares deeply about say a lot about her values and priorities in life. Is she an activist or more politically-minded? Does she volunteer or donate to certain charities? See if any of the same causes spark your interest as well.
What do you value most in your close relationships? The qualities she appreciates in her inner circle like loyalty, humor, honesty, etc. are likely things she’ll also look for in a romantic partner. Make a mental note of what she says for future reference.
What’s your biggest fear? We all have fears, but facing them and pushing past them is a sign of courage and strength. How she handles her fears could reveal her resilience and ability to overcome adversity. Share one of your biggest fears as well to build closeness.
If you could instantly become an expert in one subject, what would it be? Her choice gives insight into her passions, interests, and aspirations. It may be something you can bond over by learning more about the topic together or taking a class on the subject.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? Her answers will show how much she plans ahead and if her timeline matches what you’re looking for. If she seems undecided or unsure, she may not be thinking long-term quite yet. But if she has ambitious goals, she’ll want someone who supports her vision.
What’s your philosophy on life? A person’s philosophy reveals a lot about their outlook, values and how they approach the world. Discussing deeper topics like this builds emotional intimacy in a relationship. You may find your philosophies align or differ in interesting ways.
Random and Silly Questions to Make Her Laugh
To keep things lighthearted, throw in some silly questions that will make her laugh. Laughter is a great way to ease tension and help you both feel more at ease.
What superpower would you want and why?
Everyone has thought about what superpower they wish they had. Her answer will give you some insight into her personality and interests. Is she an adventurer who wants to fly, or does she want to help others with invisibility?
If you could instantly become an expert in one subject, what would it be?
There are so many fascinating topics in the world to learn about. Her choice will show you what she’s passionate about and values gaining knowledge in.
Would you rather be able to fly or be invisible?
A classic “would you rather” question that most people have pondered at some point. See if her choice matches what superpower she said she wanted!
If you could travel anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?
Everyone has a dream destination, even if they haven’t been there yet. Find out the place she would escape to if she could go anywhere. Is she a beach girl or does she want to explore a bustling city?
What’s your favorite movie quote?
The movies we love say a lot about our personalities and senses of humor. Her favorite quote is sure to make you both laugh and bond over a shared interest in an entertaining film.
If you were a kitchen appliance, what would you be?
A silly question like this shows you don’t take yourself too seriously. Laugh along with her at the crazy appliance she chooses – would she be a blender, toaster or refrigerator? The sillier the answer, the better!
Questions like these are a fun way to get to know her better while also making her smile and laugh. Use a mix of thought-provoking and totally random questions to keep things interesting. Most importantly, have fun with it! Laughter and playfulness are attractive qualities.
Best Questions for a First Date
The 21 questions game is a great way to get to know someone on a first date. Here are some of the best questions to ask a girl to keep the conversation flowing:
What do you do for fun?
This opens up the conversation to discuss hobbies, interests, and passions. Maybe you’ll find some common ground and inspiration for a future date!
What kind of music do you like?
Musical tastes say a lot about someone’s personality and style. Comparing your favorite artists and genres is an easy way to bond over shared interests.
What’s your favorite movie or TV show?
Pop culture references are always a fun topic of discussion on a date. Ask about what shows or films she’s currently into or an old favorite she can watch over and over.
What’s your typical perfect Sunday?
How someone chooses to spend their free time on the weekends provides insight into what they value and enjoy. Her answer may give you ideas for an activity you can do together on another date.
What do you do for a living?
While work talk can be boring, a first date is the perfect time to discuss each other’s careers and passions. Ask about what she studied in school or how she got into her line of work. Show interest in her ambitions and dreams.
•Where did you grow up? Hearing about someone’s hometown and upbringing helps you understand their background and what has shaped them. Ask about her favorite and least favorite parts of where she grew up.
•What’s your family like? Learning about each other’s families and sibling dynamics allows you to understand her values and connect on a deeper level. But be careful, as family can be a sensitive topic for some.
•If you could instantly become an expert in one subject, what would it be? Her choice reveals what topics or skills she finds most interesting or important to her. Look for shared areas of interest you both would like to explore.
Have fun with these questions and follow up with more of your own. Finding common ground and making genuine connections—that’s what great first date conversation is all about!
So there you have it, 21 questions to ask a girl to get the conversation flowing and find out if she’s the one for you. The key is to listen, laugh, and be genuinely curious about learning more about her. Flirt a little, tease her playfully, but also open up about yourself too. Finding that balance of give and take, serious and silly is how you’ll connect on a deeper level. You’ve got nothing to lose – the worst that can happen is she’s not the right match, but at least you put yourself out there. And the best that can happen? You find an amazing girl who challenges, inspires and captivates you. All from just 21 simple questions. So take a chance and start playing! The possibilities are endless.
Sharon Adisa is a content writer with expertise in relationship and life philosophy. She is knowledgeable in various areas of human relationships, including family dynamics, romantic relationships, friendships, and workplace relationships.